The Rival of a Lifetime

Every good duo has its share of rivalries that somehow knit the couple closer together. There was Simon and Garfunkel who battled through the ages trying to write better lyrics than the other. Bert and Ernie struggled against the other to maintain the position as “Lord of Bubbles” during their bath times. Sonic and Knuckles nearly died in their race to be the worst mascot.  As far as I know, being tethered to a rival is the only real way to experience life.

Christa and I are no different from those other famous duos, and thus we are spurred to adventure and submerge ourselves in new battles week after week. Heck, I wouldn’t be writing this post right now if I wasn’t trying to out-post Christa. Since the inception of our dating career I can’t remember a time we weren’t competing in one way or another. Let me list for you some of our earlier battles and who the primary champion was.

She just isn't a good eater

- Eating contest (hot dogs, waffles, primanti’s, etc.) – Dan

- Tennis (I should note that Christa was the No. 1 Seed at our High School) – Dan

- Swinging (Height and endurance, mostly) – Dan

- Settlers of Catan – Wash

- Pumpkin carving – Wash

- Uno (careful, that’s an iTunes link)(via the iPhone, which I HIGHLY recommend) – Christa (user name Buscemi)

- Words with Friends (iPhone) – Christa, who has a degree in English (Have you heard her speak? She’s awfully fluent). She cheats and spells words that I swear are forged in the depths of hell.

Most recently we’ve been contesting one another on the ping-pong table which will end as soon as one of us begins to get much better than the other.

These battles usually end up with one of us grumpy and the other consoling them to no end. “It’s okay, you’ll get better with time. I just got lucky with starting with four ‘Draw Four’ cards.”

I’m thankful that my I can have these small rivalries with Christa because it only serves to resolve our relationship and force each of us to scour the city looking for new venues and competitions to win at. I mean, how can any of these competitions possibly end our relationship? All those other famous duos worked out just fine, right?

You Got Ponged

        

I got ponged. And pinged. And it all happened while I was playing ping pong – my new favorite sport. After years of playing tennis and a brief sabbatical from that, I’ve traded in my tennis racquet for a ping pong paddle. It all started on Polish Hill at Gooski’s one fateful night. Dan and I were drinking Straub’s and bopping our heads to the jukebox when we decided to pick up some ping pong paddles and test our skills. It turns out that both of us aren’t so bad, and when Dan and I “aren’t so bad” at something, we usually deem ourselves pros at said something. Thus, we become ping pong pros pretty quickly.

Now our mission is to find more venues in Pittsburgh with ping pong. The Fox & Hound in the North Hills has it, but it’s quite expensive to play and they only have one table. Gooski’s is fun on a quiet Saturday afternoon and the beer is cheap. We’d really love to see what else is out there as far as tables and leagues. Beer should stay in the mix, as well.

So if you have any knowledge of the ping pong community in Pittsburgh, we’d love your input. You can play with us, too, although you’ll probably lose.

My Christmas Night(mare)

Hey gang! Christmas has come and gone and we’re pretty deep into 2010 but I feel like I still owe folks a list stuffed with all the wonderful things Christa gifted me for Christmas.

1. Undergarments: She bought me some nice no-show ankle socks, my personal fave, and a pair of boxer briefs. I’m not sure what she’s implying here, and it’s not like she ever sees what I wear underneath my clothing (gross!!!!) but it was a really nice gesture. Now when I bark at people to eat my shorts they’ll have something tasty to bite into. I wear only the most gourmet of underwear.

2. Suspenders (black): I don’t get dapper often, but when I do you’ll have to watch out because I’ll look so sharp I’ll be able to cut through any fashion prejudice and let justice prevail. With my new suspenders I’ll right wrongs, suspend pants, suspend time, my ellipses will become twice as suspenseful, and I’ll write only the most suspenseful soap opera dramas.

3. Wallet (leather, tri-fold): Christa thinks I have a boat full of money that is slowly sinking into the sea and that I must ferry the money off the boat to lighten the load and that this wallet is what I’ll use to do that in lieu of a bucket. Little does she know that the boat full of money already sunk to the bottom of the sea because she didn’t give me my Christmas gift when I asked for them.

4. Clocky: I blame this one on myself. I’ve been yearning for Clocky for a year or so and as soon as I let Christa know she jumped on the opportunity to gift this to me. At its core it’s only an alarm clock. A very cute, lovable and charming alarm clock. Its shtick is that when it’s time to wake up, the giant wheels mounted on the side of the beast begin to churn and off to the races we go!

Since I’ve had this clock I’ve had horrible sleep anxiety. I can’t sleep at night knowing that Clocky can wake at any moment and run amok through my room. The ghost in that machine haunts me to no end.

So it was a great Christmas. I’m not sure how anything else can top this but Christa sure did a bang-up job on buying me gifts!